Life is not logical. Life is not fair. Something happens and some things not. Good things happen and bad things happen. Life spirals this way and cartwheels that way. We interact with one another and we leave one another. We say things we don’t mean and mean things we don’t say.
Some call it the grand plan of life, some providence. Some call it fate.
There are causal links, but more likely things just happen. Unforeseen events take place. Issues crop up out of nowhere. Ghosts of the past appear and mirages of the future slip away without explanation.
Some people can handle this duality, this uncertainty. Most can’t.
And because of the uncertainty we seek explanations. We try to force logic on life. You struggled because of this sin or succeeded because of that lucky break. It’s because you knew the right people, or were in the wrong place at the right time.
Through it all there is only one golden thread: how you frame the situation in your own mind. Life is what happens, but good and bad is based in your mind.
Your mind attaches meaning to your surroundings, your mind mixes the paints on the palette of your life and paints it as it wishes. If life is dark and brooding: thank your mind. If life is colourful and happy: it’s your mind.
I have known people who, from my point of view, had everything going for them. They were talented, beautiful, had good breaks and yet … their lives were misery, with few, if any, good moments. Lives of little pleasure and much pain and hardship. According to them. And so it was.
I have known people who had nothing going for them, troubles and problems beset the road of their existence and yet: happier people you would struggle to find. Their lives may have been tough, but it was good. Small things made them happy. And lots of small things made for a big happy life.
I wonder if the materialism of this and the last decades of the previous century are a symptom of the misunderstanding about how our minds work. Because we cannot find the happiness in ourselves, we try to buy it. If we accumulate enough things, have enough money, buy enough experiences, then we will be happier beings.
How much is enough?
Maybe that is the wrong question. If you measure “enough” in terms of things, of money: you may never have enough.
Money is not the enemy. Life is not the enemy. Often our minds are.
Are you in an unhappy relationship? First look at your own internal conversations. Do they focus on the small pleasures of your time together or the millions of things that go wrong: the misunderstandings, the cold shoulders and the disagreements? Obviously there are relationships that should be ended. But is yours a bad relationship because of your mindset or because it is really not the best place for either of you to be?
Bad job, cranky colleagues, stupid boss or crazy clients? Or is it you and your mind games?
If you are in a bad space, surrounded by fools, being laughed at by the gods: take time out and examine your mind: maybe the bad fools laughing are located there.
Remember: what is the good of a mind if you can’t change it?
Now: isn’t that a challenge worth living for?
Musings from a village in Africa 
Well written and very true. Only you can create happiness for yourself. Nobody else!